week 5: the week that was together

this week, we finally saw each other. we ate, laughed, made a mess, and laughed more.

we tried making "screen print" images on aluminum with a briar roller and craft paper.

the "task" was to "break the rules" and i did by forgetting to take pictures past this point. we were too focused i think. but i actually really liked how easy, cost efficient, and simple it was to draw an image on the aluminum and transfer it to craft paper. i think we could really plan this out and make it into something more complete. 

i've also realized my affection for craft paper.

it's a deep affection. one that makes me feel warm.

which is good because snow is here, maple syrup is at the market, and even the brussel sprouts and dark, leafy greens are thinking it's too cold to keep growing.

this was a short week. too much wrapping, travel thinking, and westward ambition.

week 4: the week that didn't happen

sheena is patient + kristen is slow.


this morning, jesse was looking at pictures of bread makers + bread making; he said, "look how perfect that is." 


it was perfect: a rounded dough.


to make bread, there are rules: timing, measurements, touch. the process includes "timelines" and "procedures" that keep a pleasure, a kind of commitment to the heritage, the making, the passing on.


one major reason for our impending move is to get a little more structure, a little more "settling" + normalizing. i like waking up to a calendar, getting my holiday cards out on time, even planning three months out. 


and in the unmaking: leaving our jobs, leaving the midwest, re-doing all the structure we built together, we found joy too. the joy of sharing it all together, bending to uncertainty, and learning more about what we actually want. 

We've been lucky enough to be undoing Chicago and the "rat race" sense we were stuck in by living in a really lovely place where we are mostly in solitude, together, and outside. It's been helpful to go to the woods, to retreat. 

it does seem logical to think that the unmaking can be sewn back up, made into a bundle that makes more sense 
than our present moment. as if we are done retreating, thinking, hibernating, and ready to return with full + thoughtful intention.


i was hoping this process with sheena would help me accept more "organic" processes, would help me accept the messiness. so far--not so much. sure, i think it makes me notice some unexpected + pretty things, makes me more attentive to details, but it makes me also want to put things together better, more perfectly.

Keri Herer's work makes me think about placement, intention, and how important "direct" decisions are. I go back to thinking, it's not enough to have happy accidents, more important to have conscious decision making that show the relevance and urgency of making something.

Last week, the week that didn't happen, I chose words and stitched them together: thought a thought through.

Sure, I did my "mess" project and dropped coffee on paper, but I was more moved by the intentional mapping and measuring: by annotating the mistakes and giving them more precision. In the same way that I was more moved by Sheena's decision to leave the work outside, to find a still life and assemble / arrange the pieces enough that she observed a "creepiness" in the work she created.

When I followed Sheena's thought--about the "post" process being a new piece of work, a more direct piece of work, I took a look at the remains of our holiday cards: the two stamp practices, the drips of pain from testing colors, and the wrinkled paper. This part seems more lovely than the coffee drops on paper because it's closer to the making, closer to the accidentally lovely thing because it's a byproduct of intention, an echo of what we made.

It seems that the time in nature is similar: seeing the after/post frost and noticing what's left behind or residual. This might be the mess that moves me: what's left behind.

Week 4: The laziest week.

Okay, so I promise once finals are over I am going to be really serious about this and start using more creative materials and such. Since finals are definitely happening this week I went with what was convenient...old coffee and food coloring. The coffee wasn't really strong enough so it didn't work out well. It left barely any imprint. I wanted something more impactful. Something impactful and also in a convenient container. I could have mixed up watercolors and made drops that were subtle and beautiful. I could have used soy sauce and brought my mother into this whole affair. I should have probably mixed together something more viscous for more texture depth. Should have...could have...here is what I ended up with. The assignment was to basically take a liquid and drop it onto the page at 5 feet or more above it.

I of course used all the colors in the box

Letting it smear together...

So I'm letting it dry outside so I don't get food coloring all over everything...next to the weird garden angel and the dead pepper plant.

I did get a crazy amount of watercolor paper last week and I will be doing something with it over break (even if that something turns out terrible or ends up in pieces). I'm thinking I might start with a still life or something observational to make sure realism and I still get along and then go from there. I did get to see Kristen in person this weekend and her boundless enthusiasm for crafting/making/creating always inspires me. Hopefully we will be able to work on something together soon (hopefully this involves mapping my life)! I really think my own creative energy is dependent on other peoples creative energy.

week 3: sticky + flaky

birthdays, for me, necessitate carrot cake. that's my only requirement. 

this year, in the face of a strange + uncertain series of undertakings (moving, reconsidering career goals/objectives, + trying to keep a consistent conversation with family--now including a husband), my birthday was difficult. we almost bought a restaurant. we almost made it to a dance party. we almost got lost several times. the details of the birthday weekend are the same details as most of my days right now: i'm totally unclear what's happening + how to dissect what's happening.

i was happy to come home in time to get started on my mess project with sheena, but time did a funny little turn around: jesse + i needed to talk about what's next, talking turned into hours passing before my birthday was over + sunday was monday. 

monday: i started the mess:

agave nectar

maple syrup

+ coconut syrup were my sticky bases. 

feathers from our really ugly couch, coffee grounds from the morning (wet from the chemex and dry from the grinder), pencil shavings from the evening before, + cinnamon were my dry flakes. i added salt as a last minute consideration, but regretted not using pink salt. 

truth: i hate this kind of mess. i like that everything settled in the middle + wouldn't mine thinking about that, but i really wanted this to be "cleaner." 

i do like, in up close images, that the powders show up, that i didn't have to "brush" the sticky substances, _ that i can play with shadows. i added flax seeds because i spilled them before they made it to my oatmeal.

afterwards, i really needed to make something that i had more control with/over:

i made some wreaths, thought about the appreciation i have for being able to be "conscious" + "aware." nothing, about the wreaths is an accident--i selected the material + determined the arrangement. the mess project makes me realize how much i value the process of selecting, choosing, + being the one who enables the product to look as it looks. how much of an accident/mess is artfulness? i'm still not at that answer, but i'm looking for an intersection between both those qualities. i know the wreaths are "imperfect" + that makes them appealing to me, but they are also an execution of total control. 

i took a second to think about this, mapped it. connection/intersection/where it all meets, is always the center i return to. and on the exterior: keats--always keats. 

regardless, this was fun. this was a good way to see and difficult, a bit, to put on the book. the book, as object, is becoming an object of character. 

Week 3?

Finals are quickly approaching and I am supercrazybusy with things that are becoming due but I had forgotten or set aside. I did, however, have time to make a mess. This week's project was a lot more fun (in my opinion). It involved things that are sticky and was overall more tactile. The older I get the more I want to feel the texture of things (does that sound weird?). So basically, you cover the page in something sticky, drop something powdery onto it, blow it off.

mod podge, red sprinkles, coco powder, honey flavored syrup? (faker), flour

mod podge

syrup on top of mod podge (this looks pretty gross, like snot)

dropping the stuff (pre-blow)

(post-blow)

then I sort of smushed the pages together

30 minutes later...

So this was fun. And messy. I am going to let it dry overnight and see what happens...as you can see the sprinkles are starting to dissolve so that's neat. Between the mod podge, syrup, and coco powder this book is going to smell amazingly bad by the time this is finished.

It is also Kristen's birthday! So I spent 10 minutes wishing her a messy birthday.